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This is a picture of me and Ella at the piano. Like most of us, Ella loved music. She loved to make up songs, sing funny songs, and sing things with our family at home. Most nights, she had a CD playing in her room or a playlist from her tablet going when she and Ava would go to bed. Having a songwriter for a Daddy, she loved to hear new songs I had written and loved to know when things of mine were on the radio. Her favorite song of mine is called "Splashing Through the Puddles." It's the song we chose to play as a part of her video montage that I posted a few days ago. Music can be joyful, it can be painful, and it can also help to heal. I recently had a moment when I had to pour my heart out, so I chose to do it in the form of a song. Below is the lyric I wrote. Maybe it will help convey our innermost feelings. Maybe it will help others put words to what they are experiencing. Whatever the case, music is beautiful and it will forever be a connection Ella and I experienced together.
WHEN THE PAIN REMAINS
Jeff Bumgardner
Verse
I don’t understand why You have brought me here
I’m trying hard but still Your ways are so unclear
dry my weary eyes and help me see Your face
even when the pain remains
Verse
This hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt
cuts so deep that I can think of nothing else
but, I know You are listening to each word I pray
even when the pain remains
CHORUS
When I am shattered, You are there
When my world changes, You’re the same
When I am broken You hold me together
Even when the pain remains
VERSE
I can’t begin to comprehend the way You love
Your thoughts are so much higher so I choose to trust
I will cling to every promise You have made
even when the pain remains